Maybe its time to give ourselves permission to release and reset realistically. The idea is to intentionally give ourselves permission to release the negative feelings of defeat we might be facing in the wake of all we are striving to carry or handle during these times of pandemic, civil, and political events. Clearly adults don't need permission to be adults. The admonishment here simply is meant to suggest that people be reminded to give themselves a break in feeling like they might have missed their usual marks of success. Success is a nebulous concept for many in that we take our cues on what success means, or is, from a variety of sources and voices. But one must be connected to his/her own connotative meaning of success for it to have individualist value. In short, success means different things to different people at different times affected by different circumstances. What is important I believe is to evaluate our current bar for personal success in light of the current realities. It is hard, at least for me, and many of whom I have conversed to keep all of the balls in the air with energy and passion as we might have before the pandemic and the narratives of political unrest and civil protest. We want to be at the top of our game, all of our games as if nothing is happening and proving to ourselves we can handle our lives no matter what. Some aren't being afforded this kind of thinking at all in that one health event or traumatic event has demanded absolute attention. But a great many of us are trying to move ahead with our lives acting as if, and behaving as though, nothing else is happening or nothing can slow us, or God-forbid, stop us. We are counted among those eager-beaver-overachievers determined to rise to the occasion at any cost or judge ourselves too harshly dismissing the effects and consequences of the counter-to-our-usual-thought-process messages of our times. We need to let ourselves breathe and release any feelings of falling short or defeat so that we can indeed keep persisting in our fight to enjoy the life we have. I hear so many people talking about multi-tasking and I used to feel like I must be a little-less-than because focusing on many things at once was such a struggle for me. I've come to realize that there is nothing wrong with being wired to focus on a single stream of consciousness and that most people are not nearly as successful at "multi-tasking" as they portray. Sure, they can report two, three, or ten things they are managing at the same time, but not in the same moment with full attention because the mind is not designed to fully focus on more than one thing at once for most people. Granted, with great practice, discipline, and determination, anything is achievable. Sure, we can answer a phone call, put a person on hold, and get back to a meeting or connection without a second thought. But real engagement requires that our energy is in one place even in simplistic tasks. Multi-tasking to move from one thought to the next, one event to the next moment by moment still requires that our mental faculties entertain thoughtfully, one event at a time. Admittedly, some of us can ride that bucking-bronco and stay in the seat longer than others. But eventually, all the riders end up thrown-off. The idea here is to be okay with not always keeping the bar so high that feelings of depression or defeat come easily or slip in. Setting a manageable goal can do wonders for improving self-esteem and confidence right now. The idea that we need permission is simply a notion to care for ourselves with kindness accepting our accomplishments as wins. Caring for our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being has got to be among our valued priorities right now. Teenagers and young adults especially need our help with guiding them to forgive themselves and to keep moving forward. Permission to feel instead of suppressing by channeling those feelings into positive thoughts and good deeds might serve us well and keep us sound. Join me as I permit myself to feel, to heal, to forgive, and to release anything that would consume me if I let it. Hint, hint… Don't let it!!! Permission granted to be you and celebrate the smallest of victories and the greatest of wins. Even if you miss the target, don't miss the moment. Remember to checkup and check-in with those you know to do the same. #selfcareisrealcare
